I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
