I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
