Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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