Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
