all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
