Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
