At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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