A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
