whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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