There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
