this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
