Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
