Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
