Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
