This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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