it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
