I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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