his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
