Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
