So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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