I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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