You're so nebulous sometimes
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
