How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
