This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
