walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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