that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
