Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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