how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
