I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
How naked do you want me to be?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
