The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
