I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Green mimosas i think yes
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
