I want to stick my p in your. b.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
