Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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