i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We have started to decorate penises.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
