yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
