omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
