The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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