We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
