Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
