Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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