it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
