Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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