so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Princesses don't give blow jobs
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
The chlamydia really affected his face.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
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