I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
