Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize