At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
The convent might be a nice break from real life
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
