idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
