Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
