Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
