awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
