I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
