fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
